Have Fork, Will Eat

Tart it up

Well it’s happened again. The slow but inevitable progression of time has once again thrown us into the cruel and ignoble gladiator ring known as Fall, or as I like to call it, “The Pre-Winter.” I know, I know. Some of you like fall. The cooler, sweatshirt-y weather, the apple cider and donuts, the corn mazes and the tricks-and-or-treats. It’s glorious, Josh says. Ha. I know the truth. It’s the beginning of the end…

…of my summer vacation from blogging. Did you miss me? We’ll just pretend you did. I missed you too. In fact, I’ve brought you this gift. This beautiful, delicious gift:

Do you like it? (more…)

pork, vegetables

Artichorizo

It’s almost officially summer. Which in Michigan means that any given time, it is either thunderstorming or it’s 85 degrees. For me, late spring is an important time. The students leave and campus is nice and quiet. The markets open. The farm shares begin. The hot dog stands come out. The garden gets planted. My electricity bill goes way down…for a while. But it also means one very, very important thing: baby vegetables.

I love baby vegetables. They’re tender and sweet and delicate and tiny…and we all know that making food smaller automatically makes it both cuter and delicious-er. My absolute favorite is the elusive baby turnip, which is starting to reach nearly mythical status in my household because I can never find them. I’ve seen them at the market exactly twice in about six years and never in a regular grocery store. They are so delicious, sautéed with butter and chicken stock and then sprinkled with salt and pepper, almost like very delicate Brussels sprouts. If you find any, buy them immediately! Also, send them my way. (more…)

desserts and sweets, general musings

Is this summer? I’ve been awaiting your call

It’s been a crazy week since the launch of the first Melties. There’s was a lot going on. Most importantly, the raised garden beds that Josh has worked so painstakingly on the last few weeks were finally finished! Stained, put into place, filled with dirt and on Saturday, most of the garden was planted. We have two beds: one tomato/pepper bed (we’re also planting some lettuce into it) and one herb bed for my kitchen. Of course, within hours after planting, our mastiff Maggie had managed to jump on and run through both beds, decimating a couple pepper plants and a tomato. So today, fencing went up as well. Ah well. (more…)

general musings

The Melties

Something awesome transpired here Saturday night. Josh and I hosted the inaugural Melties, a semi-formal grilled cheese dinner party.

Let me say that part again. A semi formal grilled cheese dinner party.

You know, as many times as I say it, it never sounds less awesome. All around, it’s probably one of my better ideas. I highly suggest that each and every one of you conduct your own Melties as soon as you can.

Let’s start with the invitation.

A few of our grilled cheese lovin’ friends received the following invitations in the mail (real invitations on real paper sent through snail mail. Retro, I know):

(more…)

desserts and sweets

Homemade Mounds Bars: Do it for the noms. I mean, moms.

If you just now realized that tomorrow is Mothers Day and have yet to do anything for your respective maternal figure, don’t worry. I’ve got just the solution to your procrastinatory, slack-alicious problem: these mini homemade mounds bars. Or as I prefer to call them, “Mounds Bites,” since they’re just little nuggets of candy. Because moms like chocolate and moms like coconut and moms like things that are homemade. And because these are quick and easy and have garnered rave reviews for me the past couple of days and since they’re bite-sized, it makes for easier portion control. Also, did I say they were delicious? Cause they are.

So make a quick trip to the store, throw a batch together, nestle them into a pretty container and let your mom know how much you care…about her having delicious eats. Do it for the noms. I mean, moms. Do it for the moms. (more…)

general musings

Lemon Aid

homemade limoncello

I know what’s going on. Your path to life has taken a sour turn. Your mojo is running out of juice. Food has lost its a-peel. And my pith-y jokes…well, they lack a certain zest today. But it’s okay. I’ve got the cure for what ails ya. Because, my dear friend, when life has given you lemons, sometimes you wonder…”What the hell am I going to do with this? Make lemonade? Uh hello, that is so 1956. Laaaame.” Well today, we are going to save your relationship with the lemon.

Because after all, the lemon is a little culinary powerhouse. There is nothing it can’t make better. Not only is it full of vitamin C, and not only is it an awesome little addition to homemade cleaning solutions, and not only does it bring out the delicious flavors of foods it’s paired with, but its own flavor is bright and tart and yummy. To steal a line from Genie, the lemon is “phenomenal cosmic power, itty bitty living space.” (more…)

miscellaneous

New Math: Amazing Additions

When I was young, I had one of the infamous Teen Talk Barbies. She and I would have long, imaginary conversations about the sociopolitical unrest in the Middle East, the impending real estate bubble, the stylistic value of cinéma verité…you know, all the usual interests of a ten year old girl. At least, I would talk about those things. Barbie, dear sweet, plastic-headed Barbie, would spout delightfully silly exclamations, like “Wanna have a pizza party?” and “Math class is tough. Let’s go shopping!”

Actually, that’s not true. I never had one of those Barbies and I only know about the infamous Teen Talk version off the doll because it was later parodied in a Simpsons episode where Lisa’s Malibu Stacy doll proclaims, “Math is hard. Let’s go shopping!”

But let’s pretend for the sake of this post that I did have one of those dolls and in that case, alternative-reality me would be reminded of it years later when various friends and readers would flop down in their chairs, sigh, or type frowny-faced emoticons into messages and declare, “Cooking is hard. Let’s eat out.”

Now, I may never teach you to like math–I’m not even going to try; after all, this is “Have Fork, Will Eat” not “Have FOIL, Will Calculate.” I will, however, try to prove to you that not only is cooking not hard but it can also make basic math terribly tasty like these delicious make-ahead recipes that can be added to future meals for a nice boost of flavor and are easy to multiply and divide so you can make as much or as little as you want. (more…)

baked goods

Silly scone. You’re not a cookie.

I can hear the battle raging on inside of Cookie Monster’s head already: “It look like a cookie. But it not a cookie. But it have chocolate chip like cookie. But it scone. But it round like cookie. How it not cookie? Cookie Monster like cookies. Cookie Monster not Scone Monster. To eat or not to eat scone cookie? That is the question.”

The story behind these scones is pretty simple. Last night I wanted to bake something with chocolate in it. I didn’t want to make another batch of chocolate chip cookies. So instead I made something that looked like a chocolate chip cookie instead. I don’t know what to think about this. Granted, it’s a very good scone. Airy, fluffy, sweet, delicious, easy to make. Vanilla-y with little morsels of semisweet chocolate. Everybody loves them. But I’m starting to wonder how bad my obsession with chocolate chip cookies has gotten if I start making little cookie clones out of other types of food. First the chocolate chip cookie pie and now scones? Maybe I’ve given scones low self esteem, made them the Jan to the chocolate chip cookie Marsha. I mean, maybe it’s always, “Cookie, cookie, cookie!” What’s next? Will my other baked goods start making up fake boyfriends, maybe a George Glass of Milk, to try and convince me of how wanted they are? What should I do about this? How should I put this poor pastry out of it’s misery?

I’ll have to eat it. It’s the only way. (more…)

beef, miscellaneous

Blood Orange Chimichurri…Burgers?

This was a sad week. Our household was struck down by the plague. Well, a cold. But a vicious cold. You know, like one of those snarling, drippy cartoon germs you see in commercials. It ruined all my weekend plans of…doing nothing. I mean, sure I still did nothing but I didn’t enjoy it as much. I missed the beautiful 80-degree day that was Sunday. I missed two days of work after that. So did Josh–which is how you know this was a bad cold, because Josh rarely gets sick and even more rarely takes days off because he’s sick. And sadly, I missed all my good opportunities in the kitchen–there were no baguettes baked, no pretzels dipped in chocolate, nothing. Oh the humanity!

But yesterday, we were will enough to go back to work. And the little fish who controls the weather felt accommodating enough to make it sunny and warm, which was most appreciated. At some point during the day–and I blame Chase for this–the idea of grilling burgers started fluttering around in my head. Normally, I prefer ideas not flutter around in my brain. It tickles, for one thing, and the noise is a bit disturbing. But this idea was so appealing, I let it slide. After all, I’ve been itching (figuratively, I swear) to get my grill on for weeks now. Not to mention that grilling is a relatively easy, low-maintenance way to cook dinner and a good way for me to ease back into cooking while I recovered. Clearly summer was trying to break free from Cold Miser’s grasp. That made it my duty to embrace it with a good grilled burger, which, let’s be honest, is the epitome of summer itself. (more…)

miscellaneous

Laur-a-balls

There’s a great joke in an even greater movie, a classic work by an utterly influential artiste. Anyway, in the joke, this guy is talking to a girl he likes at a party and he lists off all these fantastic foreign foods that are sitting on the buffet, including dates. And he offers her a plate and says, “Would you like a date?” “Sure,” she replies, reaching for it. He pulls the plate away. “How about next Thursday” Hahahahahah. That, my dear friends, is the genius work of Mel Brooks in his cinematic masterpiece Robin Hood:Men in Tights.

That joke is what I’m always reminded of when I think about dates, the fruit. If you’ve never had a date, they are these delicious little elongated fruits that come from a tree called a date palm, indigenous to the Middle East. You can usually find them dried, sometimes pitted and bagged in the grocery store. They are delicious in savory and sweet dishes and are often the base for various healthy snackbars, like Lärabars or Youbars. In fact, those very bars are the inspiration for these little snackables. (more…)

Tart it up

Artichorizo

Is this summer? I’ve been awaiting your call

The Melties

Homemade Mounds Bars: Do it for the noms. I mean, moms.

Lemon Aid

New Math: Amazing Additions

Silly scone. You’re not a cookie.

Blood Orange Chimichurri…Burgers?

Laur-a-balls

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