Cookies Anonymous 12 Step Program:
- Admit that you are powerless in the face of your sweet tooth.
- Come to believe that a Cookie can restore (what’s left of) your sanity.
- Make a decision to turn your life over to Cookie.
- Make a fearless gastronomical inventory of your stomach.
- Admit to Cookie that you have wronged the Cookie.
- Be ready to rid yourself of culinary defects, like tasteless health food and store-bought cookies.
- Ask Cookie to remove your shortenings—er, shortcomings.
- Make a list of all the Cookies you have harmed and be willing to make amaretti.
- Make amaretti whenever possible.
- Continue to take gastronomical inventory. Stock up on flour and butter.
- Seek to improve your conscious contact with Cookie, praying for the knowledge of Cookie’s will for us and the power to carry it out.
- Have a scrumptious awakening, carry this message to other addicts. Bake, eat and be merry.
Smitten Kitchen has a recipe for homemade oreos. This recipe just might be my downfall. One gray morning, Josh will find me in the kitchen, on the floor, face down in a plate of delicious chocolate wafers. “She just couldn’t stop eating them,” he’ll sob. “I tried to help. I stopped buying milk. I figured she’d dry out and stop eating them. I should have turned off the gas oven instead. How was I suppose to know?” The autopsy will reveal the sad truth that everyone will already know: blood cocoa content of 0.87; the deceased had basically turned into one giant fudgie. Accidental death by cookie overdose. Another sad cautionary tale.
And the thing is, I didn’t even make the entire recipe. I just made the cookies by themselves, no filling, because…well, frankly, I’m lazy.
Not only are the cookies wonderfully simple to make, they’re tasty and versatile. I nibbled on a few (okay, five) of the cookies by themselves (to…uh…test for flavor…and consistency….and uh…other gastronomical things) and then decided they’d be the perfect vehicle for ice cream and made ice cream sandwiches for dessert. The rest I stored in a plastic container for later. I might still make the oreo filling for them later; we’ll see. Either way, the cookies alone are rich, chocolaty and crunchy. Simple, yet satisfying. Give them a try…You too may end up joining Cookies Anonymous. We have t-shirts.
Okay, we don’t have t-shirts. But we have something better: full tummies. And our daily minimum intake of calcium.